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With the ever increasing population of illegal Mexican immigrants, it is even more important to make fun of them (because they are here illegally!) Now don't take me wrong, there are some cool Mexicans but the rest are just plain annoying! Now I am not a racist but Mexican jokes are pretty dang funny so I would like to share them with you. I think this is the largest collection of Mexican jokes on the net but I could be wrong.
Mexican jokes are incredibly funny, so be prepared for a heavy ab workout. Don't worry, mexican jokes aren't racist because there are only 3 races, and Mexican isn't one of them.
What did Davy Crocket say when he saw all the mexicans running towards the alamo?
Who ordered concrete?
What is the difference between a Mexican and an elevator?
One can raise a child.
What do you call a Mexican with a new car?
Why are there no Mexicans in Star Trek?
They don't work in the future either!
Did you hear about the two car pile-up in the Walmart parking lot?
50 Mexicans died
Why do mexican kids walk around school like they own the place?
Because their dads built it and their mom clean it.
What's a mexican's favorite sport?
Why cant mexicans play uno?
Because they always steal the green card
2 mexicans are in a car, who is driving?
Why can't mexicans be firemen?
They can't tell the difference between jose and hose b
Why were there only 5,000 mexican soldiers at the battle of Alamo?
They only had 2 vans.
What do you call a group of stoned mexicans?
When a Mexican runs into a wall whats the first thing that hits?
His Lawn Mower
How do you stop a Mexican tank?
Shoot the guy pushing it.
What is the difference between a Mexican and a bucket of crap...?
What do you call a mexican baptism?
What do you call a mexican that can't do any thing?
What is the difference between a pizza and a mexican?
A pizza can feed a family of four
What do you get when you cross a Mexican and a black person?
Somebody too lazy to steal.
What do you call a mexican that is barefoot and stepped in poop with his toe?
If there was a maze with with a million dollars in the center who do you think would win: the Easter Bunny, Santa Claus, a smart mexican, or dumb mexican?
The dumb mexican, the rest don't exist.
Why don't mexicans cross the border in 3's?
Because it says no trespassing
What do you call a midget mexican?
Paragraph because he is to short to be an essay
Why doesn't the border have electric wires?
Because Mexicans will steal the electricity to power their house.
Why are Mexicans so short?
They all live in basement apartments.
How Do You Starve A Mexican?
Put Their Food Stamps In Their Work Boots.
What do you call 100 mexicans working on a roof?
Juan,carlos,and antonio all jump off a cliff to see who will hit the ground first. who wins?
What do you call mexican basketball?
Juan on Juan.
Did you hear about the winner of the mexican beauty contest?
What do you get when you cross a mexican with an octopuss?
I don't know but it could pick lettuce good.
Why don't mexicans bbq?
The beans fall through the little holes.
What are the first 3 words in every mexican cookbook?
steal a chicken
Did you hear about that one mexican that went to college?
yeah.. me neither
What do you call 4 Mexicans in quicksand?
how do you stop a mexican from robbing your house?
put up a help-wanted sign
What's the difference between a bench and a Mexican?
A bench can support a family (sorry, that one is really mean)
What is it when a Mexican is taking a shower?
What do you call a pool with a mexican in it?
What do Mexicans pick in the off season?
A bunch of Mexicans are running down a hill, what is going on?
What do you call a Mexican driving a BMW?
Grand Theft Auto.
Why doesn't Mexico have an Olympic team?
Any Mexican that can run jump or swim is in the US!
Why wasn't Jesus born in Mexico?
He couldn't find 3 wise men or a virgin. (burn)
Why do Mexicans drive low riders?
They are too short to get into any other type of car.
What is the greatest Mexican invention?
A solar powered flash light.
Why do Mexicans re-fry their beans?
Have you seen a Mexican do anything right the first time?
What do you do when a Mexican is riding a bike?
Chase after him, it's probably yours!
Why are Mexicans so short?
When they're young, their parents say, "When you get bigger you have to get a good job."
What do you call a Mexican without a lawn mower?
How many Mexicans does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Doesn't matter, they're to short to reach the socket.
How do you get 50 Mexicans is a phone booth?
Throw food stamps in it.
An Arab, Frenchman, American and a Mexican are riding down the highway.
The Arab picks up an AK-47. He shoots a couple of rounds and then throws the
gun out the window. The American asks him why he through the gun out the window
and the Arab says they have so many of those where he is from he doesn't care
about what happens to them.
The Frenchman picks up a bottle of wine and drinks a little and throws it
out the window. The American asks him why he tossed it. The Frenchman says
they have so much of it where he is from he doesn't care what happens to it.
The American picks up the Mexican and throws him out the window.
Two Americans and a Mexican are exploring in Africa and they stumble upon
a tribe. The chief of the tribe tells the explorers that they are going to
get fruit shoved up their butts and if they laugh they are going to get killed.
Luckly, the Chief tells them they get to pick their own fruit. The two whittes
pick berries and the Chief shoves it up their butts. They both laugh their
heads off. In heaven God asks them why they laughed. And the Americans reply,
"The Mexican picked a watermelon."
A little Mexican boy goes into the kitchen where his mom is baking. He puts
his hand in the flour and wipes it all over his face. He says, "Mom, look
- I'm a white boy!" His mom slaps him in the face and says, "Go show your
father." He goes to his dad in the living room and says, "Look Dad, I'm a
white boy." His dad slaps him hard in the face and says, "Go show your grandmother."
The boy goes into his grandmother's room and say, "Mira, Abuelita, I'm a white
boy." His grandmother slaps him in the face and sends him back to his mother.
His mother says, "See, did you learn anything from that?" To which the boy
replies, "Sure did! I have only been white for five minutes and I already
hate you Mexicans!"
Three men are traveling in the Amazon, a German, an American, and a Mexican, and they get captured by some Amazons. The head of the tribe says to the German, "What do you want on your back for your whipping?" The German responds, "I will take oil!" So they put oil on his back, and a large Amazon whips him ten times. When he is finished the German has these huge welts on his back, and he can hardly move. The Amazons haul the German away, and say to the Mexican, "What do you want on your back?" "I will take nothing!" says the Mexican, and he stands there straight and takes his ten lashings without a single flinch. "What will you take on your back?" the Amazons ask the American. He responds, "I'll take the Mexican."
An Englishman, Frenchman, Mexican, and Texan were flying across country on a small plane when the pilot comes on the loud speaker and says " We're having mechanical problems and the only way we can make it to the next airport is for 3 of you to open the door and jump, at least one of you can survive" The four open the door and look out below. The Englishman takes a deep breath and hollers "God Save The Queen" and jumps. The Frenchman gets really inspired and hollers "Viva La France" and he also jumps. This really pumps up the Texan so he hollers "Remember the Alamo" and he grabs the Mexican and throws him out of the plane.
What do you call a Mexican with a rubber toe?